Allison’s Breastmilk Journey

Hey everyone! Allison here to share my breast[milk] journey. A little confusing for those of you who remember that both of my sweet boys are a product of my heart and not my body through the wonderful and amazing gift of adoption. But yet, not so confusing for those of you who are familiar with milk sharing!

Like anyone who is new to adoption (and any other form of becoming a parent), you have so many things on your mind. And so many things to think about. One thing that really wasn’t on my mind was how I was going to feed my baby. I just assumed I would buy formula, some non-GMO version with either a shiny label or hipster logo and it would be undoubtably overpriced. I had no idea what to do or choose, and just thought that a good kind I found readily available on natural mom blogs and Target’s shelves were the way to go. It wasn’t until Friend 1 from my intro blog questioned, “Have you ever thought about using donor milk?”

Well that was at the time, a simple question to answer. I specifically remember immediately saying “No” with a fake laundry list of reasons, mostly ones that involved me not having the time, time to travel and meet people and be stressed over finding milk all the time, just to end up with formula anyways. And how would I travel with milk, etc.

Well that was dumb.

Doesn’t every breastfeeding momma feel this way?! I have since learned it is. So I mulled it over for a few weeks. Racking my brain for a list of pregnant friends I could potentially “mooch” off of. It wasn’t many. I literally think I met Katie (from our Monday posts) a week later. She probably doesn’t know it, but she really was the turning point in my decision. She very opening discussed her surplus of supply, because I mean doesn’t everyone discuss this with their PHYSICAL therapist!?!

After weeks of talking myself up and cleaning out freezer space, Katie was elated when I brought up the proposal. Then it was like magic, once I told one fiery red headed friend (who literally needs a blog post of her own)... it was like wildfire. I had managed to stash close to 6,500 ounce before Drew was born. And that was from TWO donors total. Crazy! I was blown away by these two ladies who were so willing to help in a way to feed my baby that I never thought was possible.

So, you might be thinking... WTF so you just collected breastmilk from people?! Yes. Through further research, there are MANY milk sharing sites (Eats on Feets, Human Milk 4 Human Babies, and more!) where you can connect with moms in your general geographic area who have needs or surpluses of milk. I quickly learned that it is customary to offer bag replacements, for me to do the traveling, etc out of respect for these moms and their hard work.

I would definitely recommend DOING YOUR RESEARCH. These milk sharing site give plenty of “accept donations at your own risk” disclaimers. Remind people that individuals selling milk vs donating are not sincere in their desires and to be skeptical. I honestly did not have luck getting donations through these sites, as I simply wasn’t willing to drop everything to travel an hour or more to get 100 ounces of milk. And I didn’t check the site every hour. Is that selfish? But what I did learn was more about breastmilk. I mean I didn’t have any clue about lipase content, how much caffeine was coming through in breastmilk, proper terms associated with breastmilk, etc.

I was so fortunate that through word of mouth and lots of fertile producing friends, my first son Drew was exclusively fed breastmilk until he was about 13 months old. That is crazy!? That is about 15 THOUSAND ounces of momma milk! We luckily were able to repeat this option for my second, who was exclusively fed breastmilk from day 6 of life until 15 months old!

So needless to say, I learned A LOT about storing, thawing, traveling with, and everything in between with expressed breastmilk. Whether you plan to be the supplier or find yourself in a situation of needing a milk donor... here is my advice and supply list.

🍼 Bags, Bags and more Bags!! Through my time, I feel like I have used just about every brand of milk storing bags out there. I typically asked my donors which bags they used, so I could replace their bags with what their preference was. A crowd pleaser for milk mommas and me were the OLD Target brand ones. The thicker plastic ones. For a while, they tried to make their bags cheaper and thinner to be more like Lanisoh bags (a best selling brand) but they fell short and have since went back to the good kind. Lanisoh bags freeze nice, but boy do they leak when you thaw/warm the milk! Modela bags ARE very high quality, but don’t freeze flat which is bad for storing, thawing and just aren’t worth the higher cost. Lastly, the popular Kiindle bags. They are a triple whammy of awful. They don’t freeze and store flat. So again they do not thaw evenly, they have bulky plastic waste that aren’t recyclable in some areas and they are super expensive. I could go on... but think about these things and read reviews! It matters!

🍼A deep freezer!! This is a must. Storing breastmilk in bulk especially if you are thinking for periods longer than 30 days, this is not something you will regret. Frozen breastmilk can be properly stored in a deep freezer for at least 1 year, in some cases longer. This was CRUCIAL for my process. I at one time had breastmilk in my entire deep freezer AND 3 friends houses.

🍼Plastic tubs that will fit in your deep freezer. This is also crucial if you plan on transporting milk often. For me, I was seemingly moving milk all the time. From donors house, to storage location, from storage location to my deep freeze. Shifting tubs in my own freezer to have the oldest milk used first... we will get to that. So having something that could store 250 ounces was clutch in minimizing time out of freezers and organizing milk.

🍼Gallon Freezer Ziploc Bags WITH the zipper top. This seems repetitive, but once bags were frozen, and frozen flat (hopefully) you can fit 8-10 of them in a gallon bag. Label them with what month/year the milk was pumped and about how many ounces are in the gallon bag. This was also crucial to quickly pack milk, move and organize milk by dates, AND the best part was when I would need to get more milk out, it is a lot easier to grab a bag of approximately 60 ounces out than it is to carry frozen bricks of milk from location to location. This can prevent excess air and make milk last longer anyways. Plus, if you drop a frozen brick- that is a guaranteed leak when you thaw it out. Trust!

🍼Fridge Storage Bin: Keeps bags that have been transferred to the fridge stay together and upright! Plus, if you do have a leaky bag... you have to wash a bin and not 3 shelves of the refrigerator. Sadly speaking from experience.

🍼Glass Bottles!! If you have ever cooked anything in a plastic Tupperware bowl, you know that plastic is somewhat porous and can absorb things. Also think of leftover food that the fat separates and sticks to the sides. Same thing with breastmilk that has cooled and put back in the fridge. Glass bottles tend to clean better, stay better, and are definitely safer when warming milk up when in bottles and not bags.

🍼LOTS of nipples!! If you are someone who wants to wash dishes every time your baby eats, then maybe this isn’t a need. But even bottle nipples do tend to stretch and change shapes over time. So having a good rotation and the next size readily available is always helpful.

🍼Bottle Warmer...ish. The best way to warm breastmilk is to have a continuous warm water bath. There are specific warmers that have this feature... and then there is our method. Good old fashioned warm sink water running into a cup, while a bag of breastmilk or bottle with milk is sitting in it. You CANNOT shock heat or microwave breastmilk so a slow warming to a little more than room temperature is perfect.

🍼Vitamin D Drops! We used the brand, Baby D Drops. One of the primary vitamins that does not get transferred through breastmilk is Vitamin D which is essential for some development, among other things. It comes in a bottle similar to essential oils so that one calibrated drop comes out at a time. We placed one drop into the first bottle of everyday to make sure we didn’t repeat or skip a dose! Most formulas have this added, so only exclusive breastmilk babies need this!

🍼A GREAT COOLER!!! If you plan on adopting from another state or just have plans to travel a lot with a baby, a cooler similar to a YETI is sooooooo handy. We transported 250 ounces to Florida twice and Gulf Shores once without losing any milk. It is also helpful if you plan on continuing to pump while on vacation and want to bring frozen milk home.

🍼 NOT overfilling bags. This seems silly, but people try to squeeze as much milk into a bag as possible. If you haven’t noticed, things expand when they freeze, plus most babies do not take 10 ounces at a time! So why fill it that much?! Most Lanisoh bags say they have a 6 ounce capacity, but can usually hold up to 8. MAX. Don’t push it. And if you are pumping and freezing for your own baby... think about how much they consume at one time... are they little and taking 4 ounce bottles, 6 ounce, or 8?! It may make your life easier to freeze in increments of what you need for one serving. Or if you are OCD, it may benefit you to freeze them all in the same amount for easy counting! You choose!

🍼FREEZE FLAT!!! The best method I have seen is laying a small cookie sheet in your freezer, letting milk bags lay flat on there and then shifting into your storage method.

🍼Get ALL the air out of bags. Leaving air in a breastmilk bag will just lead to freezer burn and chalky texture when warming.

🍼Don’t be afraid to use milk out of order. If you haven’t been around much breastmilk, you probably haven’t noticed that it can be different colors. Milk that is yellow has more fat! Great for babies brain development early on and for nighttime bottles to fill that belly! In general, you will want to use the oldest milk first, but I’m be smart about it too! Momma needs her sleep too!

🍼 There are GENERAL guidelines for safe milk... fresh milk is good for 7 days in the refrigerator. Frozen milk is good for 30 days in a regular freezer and around 1 year in a deep freezer. So do your research and do what is good for you! Once milk has been frozen, it can be in thawed in the refrigerator or immediately warmed and consumed. It is good in a refrigerator for 24 hours AFTER it no longer has ice crystals and CANNOT be refrozen. Any milk that has been warmed, can be rewarmed one more time. So be smart and reduce waste! Do not warm up too much. Trust me, listening to your babies tears while you warm more up is OKAY. Every ounce of wasted milk is hard work of some other momma going down the drain. Literally.

Lastly, I want to leave you with some <food> for thought. Are you an adoptive momma who is looking to reap the benefits of fresh milk...for cradle cap, skin rashes, making breastmilk popsicles for a teething baby, to start mixing with solid foods, etc. Reach out to your donors. Ask if anyone would be willing to donate fresh vs frozen! Are you a hella-good producer and thinking of donating?! Some moms get to the point of their baby refusing to take a bottle, but they need to express milk in between to keep producing. This is the perfect time to donate! Most of my donors gave milk during this time because their baby was approaching a year and not taking anything pumped!

Try to understand the other persons view. As a mom, we are all so desperate to do what is right for our children and NOT what other people think is right. I am so thankful for EVERY drop of milk, but not knowing exactly what my baby was consuming is a hard pill to swallow. Babies respond to what is in the milk, so if they have an intolerance to chocolate, dairy, spicy food, caffeine, etc... I never really knew why or what was causing it. Make sure YOU are comfortable with donor sources. I knew ALL of my donors (approximately 21 in total) via 1 or less degrees of separation except 3 people. That is the power of a village and what it can do for you.

If you are a donor. Please don’t get offended if we ask questions. Our babies deserve that. As adoptive parents, some of our babies were exposed to things in utero such as illegal substances and had tough battles in the first days to weeks to months of their lives to overcome these addictions. We understand that you may need prescription drugs at times. We do too. But don’t be offended if we ask.

And PLEASE keep your friends in mind. Just because they have had their child biologically does not mean breastfeeding or producing is going well for them. Support them. Offer if you feel inclined. We all just need a little support some times.

And THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH to every single mother who has selflessly given their time, efforts, and body to help their babies and other babies to be fed in the way that their mother has chosen to do so. You are invaluable to me and especially to my boys.